Shopping

Please stop besmirching the good name of my favorite gift category–food gifts.  Join the revolution by refusing to ship those disgusting collections of unidentifiable cylinders claimed to be sausage and the awkward containers of processed cheese spreads.  Extend the protest to include those tree killing enormous boxes that contain a couple apples or pears.  Those of us who live in the north can get apples and pears with real flavor every fall.

Despite my heretical words, above, I love good food gifts.  I enjoy giving them, but I enjoy receiving them even more.  However, when you send me something, please make it the same quality I give those on my gift list.  Oh, and by the way, high quality is not the same as easy to buy from a temporary, seasonal kiosk in the mall.  Food gifts deserve at least as much careful thought as that after-shave you bought your dad year after year in your childhood–oops, not a good example, perhaps.

Instead of that big brand name box of gelatinous cheese spreads from the mall, consider a selection of gourmet cheeses from my home state of Wisconsin or wherever your favorite cheeses originate.  Join me in endorsing the thankless labor of goats and cows rather than joining the chemical additive bandwagon.  Speaking of myself, and I’ll bet you, too, I would much rather have a small amount of a real cheese instead of an overpriced huge box of the fake stuff.

A beautiful wine gift basket makes a delightful gift for the right person.  Do remember though that this gift is not suited for everyone.  Like millions of other people, I haven’t had anything alcoholic in years, because I seem to be unable to handle it.  While my sister would be properly grateful for a wine basket, I would not.  Whereas I know how to chug and pour again, she actually knows how to slowly savor each sip.

We all have a special friend or a dear relative who has moved away.  Think about a present of a gift certificate for live lobsters or even lobster dinners.  Granted, this is not a bargain basement priced gift, but sometimes we enjoy splurging on someone especially dear.

I made light of fruit gift baskets a while ago, but, if you take the time, you can find a basket of gourmet fruit–the kinds of fruit that I can’t find in my own back yard.  This is a terrific gift for someone who is a fitness fanatic or anyone who appreciates the simple beauty that is fruit.

I hope you understand…  If you give a food gift the thought that it deserves, stay out of the long lines at the mall kiosks, and hasten the journey of the boxes filled with fake cheese to the garbage bin, which is where they are going to end up if you send them to me.  Join me at home some evening, shopping from the Internet.  Just remember that you’ll have to bring your own wine, but I’ll supply the real cheese.